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Five Tips for Overcoming Loneliness

Loneliness is one of the most difficult emotions to deal with after a divorce. As a divorce strategist, in addition to dealing with the practicalities of the divorce process, I assist clients struggling with this issue and help them to overcome it. Loneliness is an isolating feeling and can make people feel hopeless. It’s becoming a growing concern in our technologically modern times. Approximately, one in five people suffer from loneliness. It can even negatively impact our physical health, leading to heart disease and depression. Recent research has determined that social media is actually exacerbating the problem of loneliness. Instead of bringing people together authentically, people are feeling even more disconnected from others. However, overcoming loneliness is possible. Here are five tips to combat loneliness after divorce. Tip #1: Accept…
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How to Keep Clients Happy: 4 Tips for Divorce Attorneys

During my divorce, I was overwhelmed, overcome by emotions, and completely ignorant of the legal process. I became a divorce coach because I wanted to help others avoid the mistakes that I made during my own divorce experience. Not only do I work with individual clients, I am the leader of two divorce support groups in the Chicagoland area. I have heard from many clients regarding their displeasure with their divorce attorney. Attorneys may feel frustrated with their clients because they seem to lack a strong sense of direction and grapple with even simple decisions throughout the divorce process. Much of the legal aspects of divorce are completely overwhelming for most individuals. Because of the layperson’s lack of understanding of the legalities of divorce, and the huge amount of stress…
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Five Tips for Dealing With the Bio-Mom When You’re the “Step-Monster”

I recently read a statistic that stepmothers have a much higher rate of depression and anxiety than mothers with only biological children. If you’re surprised at this, you’re not a stepmom. As an educator with over twenty years of experience, a mother experienced with having a special needs child, and a mother of three, nothing compared to the difficulty of being in the role of stepmother. The lack of respect, the perpetual blame that everything was my fault, the bias against me from my husband’s family, and the isolation I felt, had me reeling. Society should be concerned about this because as many as 50% of women are involved in some type of step family relationship. One of the biggest contributors to the difficulty of this role is the relationship…
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Why Your Divorce May Be Your Fault

As a divorce coach I see a lot of people stuck in the pain, drama, and turmoil that accompanies divorce. Some are even trapped in, what I call a cycle of blame and living as a victim. They may feel that the divorce was “done” to them. While I can understand that many people are blindsided by the announcement of divorce, I find it difficult to believe that there were no warning signs. Upon further questioning, the “victim” of the divorce does concede that their spouse seemed unhappy for a long time, distant, or even angry and hateful. Many times, the client themselves may even admit to having been miserable in the marriage for a long time. Yet they feel shocked that their spouse filed for divorce despite the fact…
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A Letter To Fathers Who Abandon Their Children After Divorce

This is an open letter to the fathers who abandon their children after divorce. I’m writing to let you know that your children still need you. Perhaps you’ve moved on to a new family or to a new life. Maybe you feel that your children have got a good mother and you’re thinking to yourself, “She’ll take care of them. They don’t need me.” Well, you’re wrong. Your children DO need you. And they always will. My father abandoned my sister and me as preschoolers. We saw him on and off for a few years. A few hours here and there over the years. Just like approximately thirty percent of children of divorce, my parents’ separation meant a permanent separation between us and our father. Now, as an adult woman…
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Six Tips for Setting Boundaries with Your Spouse’s Ex

Kimberly had a difficult divorce. She split from her husband after finding out he had an emotional affair with a co-worker. It had been a long two years. Their three children had difficulty adjusting to their new home and a new school. But her kids had moved forward and Kimberly felt that the worst was behind her. She had worked with a divorce coach to help her set career goals and help her achieve clarity on the next chapter of her life as a single mom. She had set some goals for herself and accomplished one of her lifetime goals-completing a triathlon. It was during this training that she met an older, handsome, athletic man named Charles. He too, was divorced and had experienced betrayal.  They fell in love and…
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Seven Steps for Learning to Trust Again

[caption id="attachment_208" align="alignnone" width="150"] Hope written in the sand at the beach waves in the background.[/caption] Kimberly had recently met a new man. She’d been so excited about this new relationship. She had taken so many steps to move past her divorce two years ago. She worked with a divorce coach to overcome her lingering issues, recommitted to her fitness goals, and had even taken up Yoga. Chris had seemed like the perfect guy. He was thoughtful, fun, and they always had such a great time together. She really thought they were heading in a more committed direction. However, he decided two months ago that he needed a break and had taken some time away from her. Now, he was back asking for another chance. He said he was sorry…
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Back to School Survival Tips for Families of Divorce

With school events, sports, and fall activities starting up this fall, handling the communication about your children is a hassle when both parents live under the same roof. If you’re a family of divorce, it’s even more difficult. However, keeping the lines of communication after a divorce with your spouse is important for the sake of your children. Staying open and positive is essential, so parents may need to make the extra effort to stay organized.  How do you handle the keeping up with all the correspondence and activities when the stress of all the fall happenings start back up? The following tips that my family uses can help you stay organized when the hectic schedules gear up. Tip Number 1: Inform the school and the teachers Let teachers and…
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How to Help Your Children Feel Secure During Your Divorce

How to Help Your Children Feel Secure During Your Divorce Divorce is a traumatic experience. It is the second most stressful event in the human experience. Parents can find the process overwhelming, unpredictable, and difficult. The experience can be even more traumatic for children as they lack control of their circumstances. The adults around them are making big decisions for them. However, there are some ways that parents can help children hold onto a sense of security throughout this difficult process. In addition to finding support for you and your children during divorce, it is important to keep many elements of your children’s day-to-day lives the same so you can help ease the transition for them. It will also ease the transition for you. Maintain Home and School Structure One…
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Ten Signs it’s Time for Your New Guy to Go!

Kimberly had finally put her divorce behind her. She had gone back to school to earn that additional certification she wanted which allowed her to get the promotion at work. She had worked with a life coach to gain clarity on issues surrounding her divorce. She was feeling confident and happy and ready to move forward. She had joined an online dating site and was enjoying meeting new people. She recently met a guy, Chris. She thought there might be a future together. He was funny, attractive, and had a stable job. There was definitely chemistry between them. Yet, there were a few signs that were troubling her. Should she continue to see him? If you’re dating and you see the following signs in your new guy, it may be…
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